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Jess Harnell – Lead Vocals

Son of Grammy Award winning composer /musician Joe Harnell and big band vocalist Margaret “Franky” Crockett, Jess has always had music in his blood as well as having an unusual hormone that gives him bionic hair. Jesse was born on the east coast but grew up in California, which explains a lot. He always knew he’d be a performer and when he started singing in the third grade and his homeroom teacher immediately slept with him, Jesse knew that he had found his calling. After a tumultuous relationship with education, Jesse and school finally broke up when he was nine.

A wild child, Jess had some brushes with the law until he figured out that using a flat iron on the law would be much more effective. Jess has been thrilled to sing in many of the biggest arenas in the world although he usually had to break in to them after hours and so he was the only one present while he was singing. Eventually, and using only his voice, Jesse proved all of his school guidance counselors wrong and became enormously successful. He was nominated for an Emmy Award, was named Best Singer in several rock magazines, was the recipient of a Peabody Award and named by Variety Magazine as one of the top ten voice actors and best and busiest session singers in show business.

If he weren’t stuck on that island, he could have done great things like announcing “America’s Funniest Videos”, voicing thousands of commercials and promos and starring on countless cartoon series and animated feature films like “Animaniacs”, “Transformers”, “Drawn Together” and “Finding Nemo”. He even could have gotten to live in an awesome house that looks like a spaceship, drive a beautiful car and work with many famous and important people, none of whom would ever admit to having worked with him. But none of that happened because he got shipwrecked. Damn that f%&#ing island.

In his twenty stranded years, Jesse continued to hone his skills and quickly became the unofficial island entertainment for his bandmates. Every night, he would stand inside a ten foot high makeshift TV screen that Chuckie constructed out of bamboo shoots and Jesse would entertain Chuck and Alex with songs and impressions of countless celebrity voices, both speaking and singing, as well as performing creative reenactments of what he believed was probably happening on the bands favorite TV shows, “Charles In Charge’ and “The Smurfs”. His popularity grew and grew until all the wildlife on the island began to attend his shows to thunderous reviews.

Many of this same wild life was subsequently barbequed and eaten by the band. As Jesses’s popularity increased, he entered his ego period, distancing himself from his band mates, smoking banana peels and demanding his own ocean. He amassed a large entourage of bad influences such as gorilla bodyguards, parakeet agents and groupies who were foxes. Literally. In fact, he even called his favorite fox by the pet name of “Yoko” after she insisted that Jesse make a solo album. But since Jesse doesn’t speak fox, this never happened and the band was soon back together and all was well again.

Back on dry land, Jesse is continually challenged by women, the economy, women, his complete lack of proficiency with modern technology, women and the overwhelming developments in hair care products that have transpired since 1989. It is his sincere hope that Rock Sugar will be even bigger that they became on the island and Jesse looks forward to performing to people who aren’t made of coconuts and are not lizards.
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